Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 8, Episode 3
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the third episode of the eighth series. Key *'HD' – Hugh Dennis *'AP' – Andy Parsons *'RH' – Russell Howard *'AM' – Andrew Maxwell *'AO' – Andi Osho *'SF' – Stewart Francis Topics Unlikely Things To Hear In a Fitness Video RH -''' Hi! Welcome to Ross Kemp On Leotards. '''HD'' -'' 'Now I'd like all you ladies to turn around, face away from me, bend over and touch your toes. ''(Moans) '''AP - '''I'm Madonna. I'm a fifty year old woman with the body of a forty year old man. '''HD - ''(Impersonating Michael Owen)'' Hi! I'm Michael Owen. Welcome to my fit... oh, no, it's gone again. RH - 'Welcome to ''Masturbate Yourself Thin. Remember: swap arms or you'll end up looking like a wonky Popeye. 'SF - '''Wanna have the type of body to drive your friends' wives crazy? Hi, I'm John Terry. '''HD - '''Hi today I'm on a Swiss ball. Uncomfortable, particularly for the Swiss man it belongs to. '''RH - '''Hey! Wanna lose weight and gain a friend? Why not insert a tapeworm? '''AM - '''Ladies and gentlemen, I'm the living proof that you can exercise yourself straight. '''HD - '''Everyone wants a six pack, I do ''(drunk voice) and I already had five of them. '''AO - ''(Impersonating Cheryl Cole)'' Hi, I'm Cheryl Cole. Welcome to my Boxercise video, now for this first workout you're gonna need a Nigerian toilet attendant and a really good lawyer. AP - '''Okay go on see if you can raise your leg as high as I can, I bet you can't because I'm Heather Mills. Unlikely Lines To Hear In a Hollywood Blockbuster '''RH: Nemo, where the fuck have you been?! SF: Look Mr. Bond, do you wanna hire the Ford Focus or not? HD: Mr. Vader, we are the Child Support Agency. AP: You want the truth, you can't handle the truth! Welcome to the Fox News Channel. AO: Warning: This film contains Jennifer Aniston. AP: SPIDERMAN! LOOK OUT! IT'S ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER MAN! AM: ''(Imitating Chewbacca, then coughing)'' Oh, excuse me, sorry. Where do you wanna go, Hans? RH: '''E.T. got boned. '''AP: M, I've worked out what to do with Goldfinger! What we do is we put him in a big envelope marked "Cash My Gold". HD: '''What do you think of my Fathers For Justice costume, Robin? '''RH: (imitating Wallace from Wallace and Gromit) Mmm, cracking heroin, Gromit! AO: Look, I- I'm just an ex-Prime Minister standing before an Iraq enquiry, asking them to love him. RH: OI OI OI, HERMOINE. COCKUS ENGEORGIO, EH! HD: So this mission is impossible? Let's not bother. AO: Andy Dufresne, when he walked into Shawshank, I knew he was fucked. SF: '''Revenge will be mine, Mr. Bond, when we meet in Small Claims Court! '''AP: Use the force, Luke! And if that doesn't work, turn it off, and turn it back on again!Category:Scenes We'd Like To See